Fedora

Fedora loved her human.  Loved him with every fiber of her being.  She named him Polo.  Polo tried his best to love Fedora back.  She understood that the human psyche was a very fragile yet imaginary thing.  She was so fascinated with her human's psyche that she sometimes played mind games with Polo to test his condition.  He would weep at times even though he stood at six and a half feet and his biceps bulged.  She would test his resistance by abandoning him for days at a time, ignoring him, and sometimes even physically hurting him.  He was strong but he never hit back.  His human condition allowed him to not retaliate where a wolf or an ape would. 
I observed Fedora's little tests from a distance.  It was so hard to watch sometimes, especially when Polo would get so upset that he would physically harm himself.  To see a grown man act like a four year old child forgotten on a playground was mentally stressful.
Fedora was beautiful.  Long black hair, piercing blue eyes, stunning figure that would put a Playmate of the Year to shame.  She was evil though.  You could see it in her facial features.  She was downright scary when you studied her as I did.
I hope to get to a town soon, my legs are tired and I feel I need a good night's sleep in a real bed.

The Sounds of the Sunset

We watch the world burn for the last time
Finally paying penance for all our crimes
Dropping the pills and waiting for the rhymes
That contain the reasons we need to explain this away

The sounds of the sunset
Never smelled so good
The words we like to forget
Never looked so good
As we turn the bend
Never to be heard from again
The sounds of the sunset
Never smelled so good

Place your hand in mine and look the other way
Hell can be an ugly place on a cold day
The smile on your face can keep the beast at bay
You will never understand if you let the mimes in

Bambi's Eyes I.

I could spend my life
Lost in your beautiful eyes
I'd love to spend all my days
Wrapped in your sweet embrace
And when we're apart
You're always in my heart
I want to shout and sing
And tell the world you're my everything

Desert Sands

On a mission for clearer pastures
Catching glimpses of the ever after
Through these twisted trees

A lost transmission from the base commander
Failed prototypes of something grander
Blowing in the breeze


Sudden destruction in a manner I never knew
Words are my weapons when I choose to slaughter you
They cut deep and the damage could never be fixed
Your bullets can hurt but they almost always miss


So I continue to find the perfect world
In all of these pebbles, there's got to be one pearl
Buried in these dreams

A misfired synapse along with a change in the wind
Closing all the doors to find the one that's been opened
So I can finally take out this disease


Sudden destruction in a manner I never knew
Words are my weapons when I choose to slaughter you
They cut deep and the damage could never be fixed
Your bullets can hurt but they almost always miss


Diving for pearls
Lost in the desert sands
Mining for gold
Out from a poor man's hand

Dissertation II.

The last fortnight has been treacherous, heartbreaking and almost fatal.  I came to a small town called Albamat where I refueled, recharged and stocked up.  I obtained two packs of cigarettes, two gallons of water, some canned meats and vegatables, some dog food for Red and a bottle of whiskey.  I won't go into how or what I did to obtain them but I will say that I don't enjoy what I sometimes have to do for provisions.

I only stayed two nights and started on my trek once again.  I have no ideo what my motivation is, I could have been happy in Albamat or any of the other towns that I've been to for that matter.  If not Albamat then Harrogut or Lymon.  Something drives me into the desert though and I will not stop chasing it until I find out what it is.

Red died three days out of Albamat.  I guess the heat got to him.  I did my best to dig a grave through my tears, after all he was my best friend and my only companion.  It was not the best gravesite for such a faithful friend but with my mental state and the tools that I had at the time, it was the best I could do.  He was rightfully covered and I said a little prayer over him.

I stayed the night six feet from his grave and made sure to put some food out for him in case he felt like not being dead anymore.  In the morning I checked his grave one more time and set out on my way.  After about an hour or two (although it could have been three or four), I came upon a settlement of about ten tents and makeshift dwellings.  I yelled as a sort of self announcement.  Almost instantly I was surrounded by a score and a half of swarthy men, most of them with weapons (mainly guns) in their hands.  I tried to explain what I was doing there but they didn't understand and spoke in a crazy dialect the likes of which I had never heard.

I ended up doing odd jobs for them for a couple of days until I escaped one night while they slept.  I ran all night.  Ran as far away from that camp as I could and rested in the morning.  For the last three days, this has been my mode of operation.  It's definitely safer that way.

Broken Heart Surgery (EXPLICIT)

A steady pulse now, but there aren't any vital signs
But it's just a rush the way we fall beneath the transit lines
It rips you up the way it happens every fuckin' day
But if there's no tomorrow isn't there another way
And this reality is nothing more than someone's dream
A psychopath's obsession just to see you kick and scream
This little nightmare runs it's circles 'round your fuckin' head
And if you're lucky then you'll only wake up when you're dead

Gonna fix you up and make it better
Gonna heal you up and then we'll sever
All the broken bones inside your heart
Then we'll finally get this bitch to restart

A ringing phone but there is no one there to pick it up
A worried fallacy come on the line to say "What's up?"
You leave a message and then wonder why you even care
Well, in this fantasy you still believe that she is there
But then you wake up and realize that it is all just shit
And you can't point the blame 'cuz you're the fuckin' idiot
There's nothing you can say to bring your former lover back
Just close your eyes, here comes the fuckin' broken heart attack

Gonna fix you up and make it better
Gonna heal you up and then we'll sever
All the broken bones inside your heart
Then we'll finally get this bitch to restart

Don't be afraid
It'll be okay
Don't forget the safety's on
When you're aiming that loaded gun.